This morning that routine came to a stop when I checked my email.
It was from my ex-boyfriend, Phil's sister in law, Dasha, who wrote to me telling me that Phil passed away early Tuesday morning. I was shocked. I was scared. I had no idea how to take the news. She didn't give me any more information than that, but I quickly went to google to find out why..
...and it just hurt even more.
Philip Chlanda took his life on Tuesday, in front of his girlfriend, over the prospect her leaving him... I can't even begin to wrap my head around that... I can't begin to imagine what his girlfriend is going through right now.. I just can't..
I've known Phil for almost 10 years now. He and I dated from Sept 01 to August of 05. We were close and it was almost to the point where we were practically engaged, but sadly over time, my feelings changed and I was faced with the hard decision of breaking up with him. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Though for those nearly 4 years I've been with him, they were some of the best years of my life. Yes, he and I had our arguments, but he had a huge impact with how I am today.
Sadly, during these last few months, Phil tried to contact me. I was bitter about some of the things he had said to me in the past the last time we spoke, so I refused to talk to him.... and now.. now I'm regretting that. I wish I could take back everything... but I can't...
Phil.. I'm so sorry for everything that's happened... I hope you're in a better place now..
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| Taken in summer of 2005 on our trip to Stowe, VT |
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