Rollercoasters

It's only weds and I can't even begin to describe how this week has been. I've been so incredibly stressed and strung out that it's been effecting my personality and sadly, my co-worker has noticed, and that bothers me. Normally I'm fairly chipper, but lately..to be honest, I haven't been very pleasant to be around. I dunno it's just hard to explain, but my co-worker and I talked about it and in the end I was in tears. Things between us are cool, but I just felt, and still feel, incredibly bad for how I've been. I'm glad she understands, but she shouldn't have to put up with that.

There's just so much on my plate right now.. and really, compared to everyone else, it's peanuts.. but still, it's weighing.

So here's a list of things that are currently hassling my mind:

Possible New Job: 2nd interview went great, but everything is still up in the air. The interview itself went really well and I'm fairly confident I'll get the job, but at the same time I keep thinking about the what if's. I can't stand the wait because the entire time I keep thinking back to when Carnival said they'd call me and let me know, but instead got a letter in the mail saying my skills didn't reflect the ones they needed for that position. Which is honestly complete bullshit because it was an entry level position and I was fully qualified for that spot. Everybody told me there's a chance it was because I was a female. Wouldn't surprised me. But it's good I didn't get the job because I can't do 6 months out at sea and be away from Jeff for that long. 

Work itself: Finally, after 3-4 weeks of not having any contract work, we FINALLY get something in so we can stop scrambling around to find things to do for the clients..that in itself has been a stress..But before all that..Last week while at lunch we saw an ambulance and a fire truck across the campus at the other cafeteria. One of the clients was choking... well.. all in all, said client passed away this passed Sunday. I didn't really know her that well, but hearing that she passed was somewhat hard.

Moving: Jeff and I have to move sometime with in the next month or two.. our lease is up in Feb, and the landlord said we could pay month to month till we find another place. Which is nice.. but trying to find a place around Orlando with in our price range is a pain in the arse...

And of course, the one thing that's always bothering me and is constantly on my mind is my stupid debt. I have a huge chunk of it already under control and steady, which is good, except for one which I'm having a hard time dealing with, and because of this, I have to call up certain people tomorrow (already had to call a few tonight) and see what my options are. I'm not in trouble, I'm just not liking where my current position is. Does that make sense?

And then of course there's that awesome lovey dovey day called Valentines Day.... sarcasm? I have a love/hate relationship with this hallmark holiday..and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Then on top of all that, there are a few friends I've been out of touch with (twitter/facebook) and I've noticed because of this, I've been slowly pushed outside. It's partially my fault since I haven't been interacting as much as I should be, but all in all.. it hurts to be the one always looking in through the window... I'm always that person..

So all in all.... I'm pretty frazzled.. and I feel like curling up under a rock till I hear some shred of good news.

:'(