I feel like I'm on trial with my life in someone else's hands

I don't want to lose anything....

I feel so defenseless

?!

This morning I woke up at 4am. I'm not a fan of waking up early, but if it means being done with work at 2 then so be it. At 450 I'm out the door and on the road and there is one thing on my mind.

Coffee.

So I decide to stop at McD's. I pull up to the drive thru and wait.

"Sorry, we are currently closed and will reopen at 5."

I sit there, staring at the speaker and look at my watch. I then look at my dash. It's 510.

"It's 510..."

"Sorry, we're closed, we will open at 5."

Really?!

At this rate I'm just so fed up and cranky that I just say to hell with it and go.

Ugh....

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Fail

Yep, I failed BEDA, but honestly, I don't mind too much. At least I'm starting to get into the practice of writing in here more, so I mean, that's good for something, right?

The last two days fell by the wayside because of work. The last two days were extremely long and as soon as I got home, all I did was just crash and writing in a blog was the last thing on my mind. 

I got my new camera in the mail. It's a Toshiba Camilio S30 which is a step higher than my old s20. It's fairly nice and I'm going to try and make videos every Sunday or Monday to get into a routine. Hopefully I can work with that. Those are normally my days off, so this way I can actually put something together with out dealing with going to work or being exhausted from being at work.

Moving on..

I just woke up a few minutes ago. Had the strangest dream that I was getting a new tattoo and the ones I had were just off the wall and I had no idea why I had them. The one I remember vividly was the fact for some reason I had a swastika on the top of my shoulder and I was getting it covered by a snitch with wings falling over either side. Even in the dream I was like "Why the hell do I have this stupid little tattoo? I want it covered." It was bizarre. But the snitch tattoo did give me an idea haha..

In that same dream, which was all connected, I was staying in this apartment/studio thing and there were massive spider webs with all these tiny weird spiders and uggghh... gross. I hate dreams that have spiders in 'em.

So yep, that's that. I'm going to go eat breakfast now..

fourteen

It's 19:56 and the sun hasn't even fully said its farewell to the day, and I'm currently laying in bed, hoping sleep finds me soon. Tomorrow starts the 4am wake up calls and the 6:15 clock ins. God only knows why we have to be there so early, but who am I to argue. It's hell, honestly, waking up that early, but at the same time, I prefer opening and being out early in the afternoon so I can have the rest of the day to myself. Even though I love sleeping in, I'm not a fan of wasting around the house all day, waiting for my shift to start.

Guess you have to take the bad with the good and vice versa.

My fun little medical deal is slowly starting to get better. The pressure isn't as bad anymore and I'm only getting small pangs every once in a while. I just can't wait till I can be off the medication so I can go back to full rotation. Cause this standing out in greeter all day in the sun is getting slightly old.

Deathly Hallows pt 1 comes out on dvd tomorrow. Pending on what time I get out of work, I'll most likely run to the nearest Best Buy and pick up a copy. Excited. Can't believe Part 2 is only a few short months away.

alright, I think the medication is starting to kick in and I'm getting sleepy.. nighters :)

Coming up with subjects sucks

Today I spent all day at greeter.. fail. I can't wait till I can be back on platform again. It's so frustrating to be so limited with what I can do. Rawr... Hopefully next week I'll be back in the swing of things, providing the meds do what they're supposed to. So far it seems to be working. The pain isn't as bad as it has been and pressure is somewhat releasing. So that's good. But at the end of the day, I'm completely drained and I have pangs.. I think it's because of all the standing around, the extra talking and the sun that just drains me.

Oh well.

Earlier tonight an old professor of mine, Kelly, called me up on Skype to talk with her class about YouTube being used in Social Media. I tried my best to try and talk about YouTube from how I see it, and I hope I got my point across, though looking back I wish I had said some other things or left some things out. Sometimes I have a tendency to ramble and I think I ended up doing that a bit. Sigh. Nerves. Either way it was a lot of fun and I miss my days back at Nescom. It was some of the best years of my life and I'm so glad I found a school like that.

To Kelly's class who may be reading this, there are a few other points I want to make about YouTube.

Yes, there are people who make YouTube as a full time career, but don't go in thinking that's what you want to do. Make videos because you enjoy making videos. Don't go in for the fame, don't go in for the money, go in for fun. Over time, people will find you and people will subscribe and you'll gain a small following. It won't happen over night, so don't be upset if only 10 people watch your videos. I have 750+ subs, but I'm lucky if I reach 200 views on my videos. But some of that is my fault since I don't post on a daily schedule. Which brings me to another thing: Post on a daily schedule. The more you post, the more people will remember who you are and will be more likely to watch you over and over. This is something that I'm going to do more often.  My goal is to post every Sunday and then go on from there.

Also: Be respectful to your subscribers. Take the time to thank them for subbing to you, take the time to reply to their comments. Start a discussion. Get involved in other channels. Reply to other videos, favorite them, and try to find channels that are around the same subscriber that you're at and make friends with them. This way you can help each other grow.

If you have any questions, feel free to message me and I will try my best to answer. I'm not a pro with YouTube, but it's a community that I'm very fond of. :) <3

Oi

About twenty minutes after posting yesterday's blog, I called out of work. It was too much and I needed a change in medication and I wasn't about to go into work feeling like how I was. It worked out anyway, since it was just an extra day I had picked up and they ended up having a ton of extra's, so it wasn't like they were hurting (and neither was I for hours and such).

So as soon as I finally woke up, I called them first thing in the morning and went in around noon. The drive itself was frustrating since even the seatbelt was uncomfortable. I would of removed it, but having my mother at a very very young age tell me that I always had to wear a seatbelt kind of stuck with me. Plus, I didn't want to get pulled over and given a ticket for an obscene amount of money.. and well, the whole saving a life thing just in case of an accident is always a plus.

Either way, got to the doctors and explained about the jaw pain I got from Celebrex and just how in general it made me feel lousy. He was confused about the jaw pain and said he'd look it up, but I got bored and looked up earlier and found it was a rare side effect. Hooray for being a rare side effect! In the end, he changed my medication to Prednisone, twice a day for five days, and hopefully that'll help with the addition of the muscle relaxers that I already have.

Which by the way, I can only take at home since they make me want to nap like nobody's business. So that means at work I have no way of actually dealing with the pain. The steroid pill only does so much.

Rawr..

Moving on.

A professor of mine back at Nescom messaged me on Twitter and told me she was going to be showing my YouTube page to her class! I know she's done it before in the past, but I think it's pretty awesome how she uses my channel as an example for social media. I love it, but there are times I have to wonder exactly what videos she's showing.. haha. Hopefully only the good ones!

Another thing: My friend, Michael Aranda, is stuck in Paris, France. He went to the UK on a visa worth six months, when he originally asked for six weeks. They took a trip to Paris about a week or so ago, and he was denied re-entry, saying his passport was only for six weeks, and not the six months that was stated on his passport. He was told that he would be allowed re-entry as long as he got a return ticket back to the States. After getting his ticket, he was again denied, saying he posed a risk to the UK since he was denied in the first place.

It's ridiculous and if you could just take a minute of your time to sign this petition to help prove to the UK that Michael poses no threat, that would be amazing.

Thanks :)

4am

I woke up this morning at 2am because of extreme discomfort/pain in my chest...of course, I refused to go to the ER at this time, so I took some advil (since all Celebrex does is make me feel like shit and make my jaw hurt) and tried to fall back to sleep. Managed to get about an hour and a half in, but most of it was in that stage where you're asleep, but still somewhat awake. Now I have to call out of work and go into my doctors office first thing.

This is so frustrating. I want this to stop. I don't want this to effect my work anymore like it already is. Chances are when I go in they're going to order a chest xray, something I want done anyway to rule out any possible hernias.

This is so full of fail. The meds aren't doing anything, all they're doing is masking the pain just so it can come back later..

Make it stop :(

COMC, Camera update

Last week I sent my Toshiba Camilo flipcam in due to a defect so I can get a new one. I was told that with in 48hours of receiving that package, they would send me a coupon code via email so I can get a new one. It's now Sunday, and I have yet to get the email. I called today and after getting all my info, the man said that their records are showing that they are still waiting for the package. I laughed (passive aggressively.. cause yeah) and after checking UPS, told them that the package was delivered and was signed for and "left at dock."

The guy then went on and told me to check my e-mail's spam box to see if the code was there. I'm sorry, but what makes you think that I would have the code if your records are saying you might not even HAVE it?! Even so, I already have been checking my spam to make sure it didn't slip in there periodically, so that was a no go and I told him so.

All in all, he said he had to escalate this to another department, so I had to leave a message with that department and now it's back to waiting. So friggin lame. I'm going to give them a what for when they call back.. ugh..

Next up: Care of Magical Creatures.

My friend Justin (YouTube Channel Here) is organizing a program called Care of Magical Creatures where he ships off stuffed animals to a number of people who then ship them to other people and so on and so forth. Each time someone gets the creature, they will donate $5 or more to the fundraiser and then make a video or take pics with it and put it up as part of that creature's adventure. This entire project is to help raise money/awareness for the Harry Potter Alliance and I'm so excited to be taking part in it.

I uploaded a new video today. I have some more motivation now to make weekly videos. I have a feeling that I'm going to try and make them every Sunday from now on since that's a day where I don't really have much to do. I think if I start off like that, I can start adding onto that schedule. It'll just be easier when I get my camera back.. grrr

So here's my new video:

You rock, kthxbai <3

Lifehouse!

After being a fan of theirs for nearly 10 years, I finally saw Lifehouse in concert!

It was EPIC!!!

Today was a somewhat decent day. Ended up rescuing out to Revenge of The Mummy. It was fun and a nice change of pace. Toward the end of my shift I noticed my meds were wearing off, so I was having some mild pain issues but nothing to be majorly concerned with.

Oi.. nothing much to write, so keeping this short.

But yeah, Lifehouse.. ZOMGAMAZINGITWASAWESOMEEPICYAY! :-d

Costochandritis

So I finally have a name for my chest pain. It's nothing very major, but it can mimic symptoms of a heart attack. That's always fun!

Anyway, woke up this morning with pain, so called the doctors and went in. They did an EKG and such and found that my heart was doing pretty good, but when he pushed on my chest wall, needless to say I was nearly in tears.

So I was given Celebrex and a muscle relaxer (to take when needed), so hopefully that helps things. I was told if the symptoms get worse or persist after two days, that I have to go to the ER. Fail.. ugh

Health Fail - seven?

I've always considered myself pretty healthy. I eat healthy, for the most part, and I'm pretty active with exercise, but as I mentioned in a post a while back, ever since August, things just went down hill, and it's really frustrating. A part of me kind of views doctors as car mechanics. You go in for one thing, and you come out with a long list of things that are wrong that need to get fixed. Which means more $$. Thank god I have health insurance.

Back in August I was rushed to the hospital from work for chest pains. Found out my cholesterol was in rough shape and had been going back every 6 weeks for blood work while changing my diet and adding omega-3 twice a day as well as Niacin once a day in the evening. Thankfully, that helped and got my levels down to where I don't have to worry about getting blood work done for another few months.

November, I found out that I might be developing cervical cancer (the cells were in that very first stage). I'll find out more in about a month or so when I go back for further testing. I'm honestly not that worried about that, to be honest since the cells could fix themselves, but either way.

Then thanks to wardrobe, I broke out in a rash that had been around for over a month. We're calling the rash Dragon Scales at work since I'm not the only one whose breaking out. Thankfully, they're looking into it, but because of this, I had to go see a dermatologist which in turn found a mole she wants me to keep an eye on. Fail.

Then now, for the past 24-48hours, I've been experiencing tightness with pain mixed in in the center of my chest. I'm not impressed. I've been kind of dealing with it just by relaxing when I can and taking it easy, but even while sitting it hurts a bit.. to the point where I honestly just had to go braless (yeah, tmi, but whatever).

Honestly, I'm just fed up and want to be healthy. Can't I just have that plskthx?

Rawr face

uggh

Worked 10.5 hours today.. got home around 8:15pm in time to make a quick dinner and then go to bed at 9 to wake up at 5am for work tomorrow. ugh..

Atleast I get to sleep in on Friday.

Saturday is the Lifehouse concert, which  hopefully if all goes well, I'll be able to go. I'm excited.

I've got nothin else to say....

*flops over*

four (but really day five, which = fail)

Go me. I failed BEDA by missing yesterday... oops.

Yesterday I was at the park with a friend from school whom I haven't seen in about 10 years. It's pretty weird to think that it's been ten years since I've been out of high school.. I feel old.

Had to go to a dermatologist today since I've had a rash for well over a month now that could be thanks to wardrobe at work. Got me some meds and such for it and we'll see how that goes in two weeks.

Nothing really to report, except for some awesome news that I will announce at some point, just not now.

And yeah..

ugh..

three

I'm not a fan of closing shifts, mostly because they feel a lot longer than opening and also I'm not a fan of waiting around till I have to go to work, as said in previous post. But last night was actually a decent shift. Because of something I did to my leg, I'm on light duty for two weeks which means I can't be on platform, so I'm stuck at Greeter, Express etcetc.. yeah. ugh.

Anyway, so last night, an hour before we closed I met this awesome family, a little girl named Isabella and her sister, mother and father. They had just got into the land and Dragon's was their first ride. Isabelle didn't meet the height requirement and she was happy about it! I actually prefer it that way cause I always feel bad when they start crying. Anyway, the mother and sister went on the ride as the dad and Bella stayed behind. We chatted a bit and I noticed she was holding two large minions. We got to talking about how she got them, etc and I asked if she named them yet and she said no. That's when I asked her name, which is an awesome name, and then asked if she had a nick name. I told them my nick name and the dad is like "How about we name one of the Eeks? And Eeks can then live on forever?" And the girl was so happy and nodded and seriously, that made my night. I was flattered. So after that I escorted them up to Journey and had them put through the express and then had them go on Hippo. Bella was so excited and happy for what I was doing for her family and her that she gave me this huge hug and yeah..

That's what makes me remember how awesome my job really is.

two

Mornin everybody.

So last night when I went to bed (which was around 10ish give or take.. yeah I'm an old lady) the neighbor's kids were playing in their pool.

I wake up this morning to hear they are in the pool and the question arises.. Did they ever leave?! A part of me is a bit jealous that they are swimming, only because they must have a water heater for their pool. We have a heater for ours, but it would cost way too much to run it, so we don't and let it warm up naturally, which means our pool isn't ready till about mid-may.

It's a gorgeous morning out, and I have to work later this afternoon. Honestly, not a fan of closing shifts, because I hate sitting around on really nice days waiting to go to work. I prefer just waking up before the sun rises, go to work, come home and enjoy the rest of my day. Oi..

BEDA!

So begins a month of blogging, something I think I'll be able to handle as oppose to the vlogging every day, though I might bring back AugustEeks.. who knows. Anyway, my blogs btw are going to be random, they're not going to be perfect and I bet you they'll change thought half way through. It's just how I roll. Yep.

Today was a bit meh.I swear, after August, everything just started to go down hill. I'm about ready to just say f it.. Anyway. I either pulled something or tore something in the upper part of my left leg, and when I walk a lot, it hurts, so because of that I'm on light duty for the next two weeks, which honestly sucks cause light duty means no platform..but at the same time I'm still walking around and standing around at Greeter or express.. ugh. Whatever. So now I'm just chillin here, watching House Hunters International with a heating pad under my leg. God bless the person who invented that.

I have an appointment for a dermatologist to check out a rash that developed because of the clothes at work. That's fun..

Lesseeeee... what else....

I made home made mac and cheese today, and now my stomach hates me for it.. oh well. It was good! So it'll have to deal. Rawr...

yeah.. I'm done.

Ha! This is such a great way to start BEDA! woooooooooooooo